“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.” William E Gladstone.

To be happy is a great aspiration for many people. I believe to be happy is a simple important goal to have in life.

I accept that it isn’t always easy or possible to be happy when we suffer adversity. This particularly applies when we have to deal with sad situations such as the bereavement of a loved one or serious health issues. However, having a happy disposition and mindset may allow us to recover and bounce back from difficult and challenging experiences faster.

Having a foundation of happiness within us, helps us to get things into perspective more quickly when difficult people and situations push our buttons. It allows us to move on if we temporarily feel angry, downhearted, frustrated or disappointed.

The good news is that being happy is within our control. It’s a choice as Abraham Lincoln said “Most people are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.”

I believe that one rule of happiness is to allow ourselves to be happy in our own skin. This means that we feel at peace and at ease with ourselves, relaxed and grounded with a mindset that we can cope with whatever life throws at us.

This will also involve remembering that when the going gets tough to have an attitude that believes that “This too will pass.”

If we choose to adopt this philosophy in life, we tend not to dwell too long in situations and proactively take action to change things.

In order to be happy, we must:

  • Feel that we deserve to be and give ourselves permission to be so.
  • Let go of the need to ensure everyone else is happy before we focus on our own happiness.
  • Give up a belief that we must be perfect before we can experience true happiness.
  • Accept that we are human and will make mistakes.
  • Not put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket.
  • Release the thought that we have to earn the right to be happy.
  • Trust that it’s ok for us to be happy and that we don’t need the approval of others.

Happiness can be a fuzzy concept. It means different things to different people. We all have our own unique happiness recipe. It’s important to spend time figuring out what makes up our personal and individual definition.

I’ve had many varied responses when I’ve asked clients what makes them happy. Some say it’s seeing the family content, success at work, sporting triumph, listening to music, watching children enjoy themselves, time by the sea, reading a good book, going for a run, watching a film at the cinema etc.

I quite often do an exercise with clients to get them to devise their personal happiness definition. I do this by getting them to take a sheet of paper and write down 10 bullet points that reflect happiness for them. It can be fewer than 10 points if you prefer.

To further develop the framework, I ask clients to give themselves a score out of 10 (1 being low, 10 being high) for each of the bullet points. These scores reflect their satisfaction with each element. They can make a note of their target score for areas they want to improve. I also suggest they note down a few action steps that will help them achieve this score. These scores can be regularly reviewed to track progress.

It’s a simple but really powerful exercise. It provides clarity and is a great framework to compare how you are doing in life against your own happiness definition.  I’ve noticed that when people do this exercise, their descriptions often include things that don’t cost a great deal of money and in some instances are free.  Perhaps there is some truth in the old saying “The best things in life are free!”

We get one life, it’s short. Everyone has the right to be happy and we can all do our best to not delay or defer our happiness. Choose to be happy, starting right now!

This week, why not pause for a few moments and consider what makes you happy and if you need to take any steps to increase your personal happiness.

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk