Modern living is busy and demanding.

We all have limited time, energy and mental capacity therefore it’s essential that we dedicate these valuable resources to first dealing with things inside our control.

Secondly getting clear on what we can influence and then doing so and finally letting go of things that we can’t do anything about.

Top Sportspeople focus on areas they can control, for example their diet, fluid intake, exercise regime, pre event preparation, their thoughts and reactions to external events. Sports Psychologists refer to this concept as “controlling the controllables”.

They encourage them to let go of things outside their control.

How many people do you know who complain about things they can’t control? They spend time complaining about matters such as the weather or their boss but do not always dedicate time to some practical responses like carrying an umbrella or being more assertive in their communication style.

Some people spend a great deal of time and mental capacity on matters outside their control and influence and then wonder why they are frustrated and tired.

The picture above is a simple tool that I use with clients to help them get clarity on what is important to them and what’s within their sphere of control and influence.

I suggest that clients think about issues that they face and list them on post it notes. They then decide if they are issues they can control, influence or things that they need to let go of. It helps them focus and prioritise when faced with so many conflicting demands and calls on their time.

We review where they are focusing their time, what (if any) changes need to be made and if they need to direct more of their time and energy to areas that they can directly control and where they can have the biggest impact.

In my experience, this approach has an energising effect and helps build inner motivation and confidence.

A bi-product is that over time it helps to increase their influence. People tend to feel like their actions are more worthwhile and make more of a positive contribution.

This week why not take a few moments to think about where you are focusing your time and energy?

Is it mainly directed on things you can control or do you need to make some adjustments to your approach? Are there things that you need to let go of?

This week’s quotation:

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” Albert Ellis

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk