I keep meeting people who have given something up this year.

After a busy festive period some people that I know took part in “Dry January” in aid of Cancer Research. They gave up drinking alcohol for a month. Not long after January had finished lent started on February 10th and some people have given something up for 40 days until Easter Sunday. This is on top of the people who made resolutions at the start of the New Year to quit something.

Given the above, I smiled when I read an article by Mary Carlomagno titled “I Can’t Complain.” Upon reading the article I discovered she is the author of “Give it up! My year of learning to live better with less, the secrets of simplicity and live more, want less.”

The book details her experience of giving up indulgences and conveniences one per month for a year. Over the course of a year she gave up alcohol, shopping, elevators, newspapers, mobile phones, dining out, television, taxis, coffee, cursing, chocolate and multi-tasking. I thought it was an interesting concept and a way of making change gradual.

Her article started with a quote by Mark Twain “habit is habit and not to be flung out of a window but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” That’s how she lived her life for a year, coaxing change in her life step by step.

She said that after day one she wanted to denounce Twain’s approach and fling him down the stairs! However, deep down she knew he was right. She said ritualistic practices for this exercise required the same level of effort and step by step progress as a concert pianist preparing for a performance. As her childhood flute teacher said, practice doesn’t make perfect it makes it permanent. This is something she proved by kicking her 4 cup a day coffee habit cold turkey.

As she sacrificed something she liked month to month, she adopted complaining as a coping mechanism. She decided it was time to stop carping and rebalance her life, so that’s how she came to accept another month long challenge:

She decided that she wouldn’t complain for an entire month or at least give it her best effort. Hence the name of the title of the article!

Like coffee, she explained that complaining was an ingrained habit. She said that during the month, she realised that smart phones and computers are the ultimate complaining enablers. They make it easy to launch a text blast to your partner or friends about things that have gone wrong. This can be multiplied exponentially if you join in social media conversations and complaints about a range of topics ranging from religion, sports and television etc. There are endless opportunities to express opinion and engage in debates.

When she became more conscious of her complaining, she began to notice the sorts of things she was complaining about. She noticed that once she started complaining she couldn’t stop. It mushroomed and developed a momentum and created negative feelings and energy.

She said after struggling through much of the 30 days, a light bulb went off and she realised that if she didn’t start complaining, she wouldn’t have to stop. She said that if she moved through the perfunctory tasks of the day concentrating on finishing them quickly, she reduced the window for whining. She lived in the moment more and helped her mindset by listening to Buddhist monks music

What do you think the benefits to you of giving up complaining would be? I believe that you would feel happier, lighter and more energised and that life would appear to run more smoothly.

Imagine if everybody you worked with committed to stop moaning and complaining. It would be a far nicer and more pleasant environment to work in. I would think that service and productivity would go up as a result of this change.

March starts tomorrow and I am thinking that perhaps we could make the month of March a moan free zone? Will you give up complaining for a month and encourage your family and work colleagues to join you in the challenge? It could create a ripple of positivity and help to make the world a happier and better place.

Referring back to Mary’s original concept to give up something each month, why not take a few moments to reflect. Consider if you could give up complaining. Alternatively, there may be something else that you would like to give up. What would the benefits of quitting something be to you?

This week’s quotation:

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” Zig Ziglar

To arrange a free no obligation consultation, please contact Stephen Pauley via the contact form or by e mail: Stephen@befirstclass.co.uk